While I'm jogging I see in the far distant a hot dog stand.as I got close to the hot dog stand I pulled out of my pocket some money. “Yum” I can smell the yummy hot dogs. as I walk up to the hot dog stand I look for the price it’s 2$ I say passing the money to the shopkeeper,wait a while says the shopkeeper as he fries the hot dog.I walk up to him to grab my hot dog ,as I grab it I start to walk off and eat my hot dog “yum!”.
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Hi Ronald
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good story. Although you may want to get someone to check over it.
Zara
Hi Ronald
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story. but you may want to check your punctuation. I love how you used dialouge. Also would you put 'In the far distance' Or just 'In the distance'
it would be cool to see you comment on my blog. here is the link.
http://awahonogeorgias.blogspot.co.nz/
-Georgia
Hi Ronald
ReplyDeleteI like the way you used good describing words like yummy hot dog.I also like how you stayed to the subject instead of switching to a new scene.Next time could you recheck your work e.g add speech marks when somebody is talking and also instead of "I pulled out my pocket some money" you could put,I pulled money out of my pocket
Hi Ronald I like you work because I like the way that you used good describing words and I like the photo.Next time recheck if is the capital is in the right place.GOOD WORK!
ReplyDeleteHi Ronald,I like that you have put time into writing this.Maybe next time though you should check if all capital letters are in the right places though.Also I would like to know did you get to choose the subject or was it a set task.
ReplyDeleteFrom Blake